


Reasoning

by Averia



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Betrayal, Gen, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-20
Updated: 2016-03-20
Packaged: 2018-05-27 22:10:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6302224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Averia/pseuds/Averia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You were not ready to listen then and I knew you already decided to follow the rules completely when you told me about your--upcoming marriage.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Reasoning

**Author's Note:**

> This is just something I had to write after 1x10.

_His arm hurt._

_The bond was weak._

_They had betrayed him, all of them._

_Now Izzy would have to pay._

His sister did not have to tell him how they had gotten his stele. He had figured it out by himself easily and he listened to the dial tone, waiting for the high warlock to answer.

“Alexander.”

The smooth voiced echoed in his ear and any other day he would have answered breathlessly with a smile on his lips but there was too much between them by now to fall into the used pattern.

“Why?” he asked instead, tears stinging his eyes. He had no clue why it hurt so much, perhaps because he had thought someone other than Izzy was starting to care for him, perhaps because he had thought he could trust Magnus like Jace trusted Clary – so completely.   

It was silent on the other end for a long moment and Alec leaned back against the wall, sliding down to sit, hoping Magnus would not ask what he meant, hoping the warlock would not try playing oblivious.

“I hoped it would be the right thing” Magnus stated calmly and Alec bit his lip, looking at the floor with his vision swimming.

“I get it” he said, trying not to let the sob out “I get you--all of you--wanted to save Melione out of a fair reason but do you even know how many unauthorized missions we went on to help-- _her.”_

He could not help but hurl the last word out, could not help the anger.

“Do you know how long I have been bending backwards for Jace? For the chosen one? For the one who will always do better than me? All those things that went wrong in the last weeks, they have not fallen back onto Clary--or even onto Jace. They affect _my family_.”

His tears pattered the floor in front of him.

“My parents are in Idris under watch, they have lost their influence over the institute. Izzy will be banished for what all of you did because none of you trusted _me_ because all of you see the Clave and automatically picture them as evil.”

He could hear Magnus take in a breath, knew the warlock might even have a good reason to be displeased with the Clave but this right now was not about what they had done wrong in the past hundred years.

“I have been afraid of them for my whole _life_ because their rules have forbidden me to be what I am but I never forgot that those rules exist for a reason, some might not be as justified as others but they keep our world in order.”

He thought back on Hodge’s words, how much rules the circle had broken believing to be good. It was still silent on the other end but Alec knew Magnus was listening and he wiped the tears from his cheeks.

“I’m sorry, Alexander” Magnus responded quietly “You made hard decisions and if I had seen another way I would have never betrayed you.”

Alec wanted to believe those words but he had no idea if he could.

“You were not ready to listen then and I knew you already decided to follow the rules completely when you told me about your--upcoming marriage.”

Alec tried to keep the anger at those words at bay, the frustration, the guilt and sadness. He wanted to explain himself one more time. The marriage had nothing to do with love.  

“You do have to understand, that Clary is trying to do the same. She tries to protect her family, her mother.”

Alec laughed bitterly at those words, staring up at the ceiling in a watery smile.

“If it’s the same thing, why are all of you on her side?” he asked and knew he had hit the mark when silence resounded again.

“Well, if you see any of them tell them we need the cup to save Izzy” he mumbled, closing his eyes “Goodbye, Magnus.”

He did not wait for an answer, rubbing his eyes dry and walking back to Lydia. She looked concerned and Alec tried not to be too glad for someone genuinely caring.

“Are you alright?” she asked, taking him to the side and Alec shrugged, looking down the hallway.

“Do you think anything else could save her?”

Lydia sighed, massaging the back of her nose. _Why did she even care?_

“If you have some more secrets the clave should know” she finally said, mouth formed into a helpless smile. She was also coming to the end of her wits and Alec huffed, trying not to be too pessimistic.

“Listen Alec” she said, squeezing his shoulder when he tried to turn away “If you think something can be done just tell me. I might only be able to give you a day off or something but, you know. Perhaps Magnus Bane can help?”

She whispered at the end, only the both of them able to hear what she said and he looked away. What could the High warlock possibly do other than contact _them_? He had taken care of it already and he did not feel the need to see Magnus, _not yet_.

All he wanted to do was to curl up in his room and stay asleep forever.


End file.
